Men and women alike, the New year, New me mantra in relationships involve partners making efforts to do better and correct their mistakes. Those who aren’t in relationships vow to do better in their next. But what are these attitudes they vow to put a stop to and what do the other parties have to say about it?
After having conversations with men on attitudes they would want women to stop, conversations with women followed as well. In as much as these attitudes seem and sound like generalizations, some are repeatedly mentioned in the conversations such that they appear to be what one gender thinks of the other.
Below are three things women wished men would stop doing in 2022.
Lack of communication.
Communication is the ability to express oneself without holding back. In relationships, It means the sharing of thoughts, feelings and emotions with a partner in order to be understood.
Bukky, 25, laments , “men do this thing where you have to ask them questions before they can tell you something. And even when they tell you, they still hold back some information for whatever reason. I think it’s toxic masculinity; you know, society telling men to ‘man up’ and not open up. When they’re bothered about something, they’ve been programmed to say everything is fine. That needs to stop this year.”
Lying is an act of not saying the truth. In conversations with the women, they express their dislike for men withholding the truth. Furthermore, they stated that men have a constant habit of saying “women can’t handle the truth”.
For example, Haleemah, 27, broke off a six month relationship because she found out the truth elsewhere. She narrates, “this dude impregnated someone else and wouldn’t even have the common courtesy to tell me. I knew something was up and each time I asked him, he denied it. Only for me to find out the truth from someone else. When I confronted him, he said he didn’t tell me because he thought I wouldn’t be able to handle the truth. Men really need to stop with that excuse and start coming clean this year.”
Possessiveness means having or manifesting a desire to control or dominate another. Especially in order to limit that person’s relationships with others. In relationships, this could restrict a party’s relationship with others and cause resentment against the other party.
While conversing with these women, the mention of possessiveness came up with Sarah, a fashion designer in a two year relationship.
“My boyfriend would call every minute and I’m not even exaggerating here. He wants to know who I’m hanging out with, where I am, what I’m doing, why I’m somewhere, who is with me, who I’m whispering to, and so on. Every minute! It’s exhausting. And I’ve communicated this with him several times but it falls on deaf ears. I’d prefer if possessive guys stop being possessive this year because it can be quite irritating.”
Now that you’ve read this article, as a man, if you find yourself wanting in any of these areas, it’s time for a change.
Article written by Sola Tales.
Photo credit: Cover art from Tyler Perry’s Acrimony, starring Taraji. P. Henson and Lyriq Bent.