A reoccurring mantra for a new year is, New year, New me. Although it is quite unattainable to become an entirely new person, certain efforts can be made. Usually, when people say there will be a new ‘them’ in a new year, this is what they are implying. Doing away with certain people and habits. Likewise, in a relationship, some habits can be quite irritating and hurting to the other party without the knowledge of the offending party. In some cases however, the other party may communicate their dislike for the habits and attitudes of the offending party. But, it would fall on deaf ears. In some cases, the offending party are women and the other party are men.
So, after having conversations with men on attitudes they would want women to put a stop to, this article was birthed. In as much as these attitudes seem and sound like generalizations, some are repeatedly mentioned in the conversations such that they appear to be what one gender thinks of the other.
Below are three major things men wish women would stop doing in 2022.
Nagging is a repetitive behavior of persistently worrying someone to do something. It could also involve a constant fault-finding in the actions of others.
“Women nag a lot,” says Oluwatobi, a poet. “They make a huge deal of nothing. A mountain out of a molehill. And you know what’s most annoying? They know you find it annoying but they keep doing it. When my girlfriend calls sometimes and I don’t pick, she gets angry and reminds me of how I did the same thing like one hundred years ago. But I’m not a magician, am I? I can’t be with my phone all the time and I wish she’d understand that.”
Indirectness is the complete opposite of being straightforward. Some men expressed their dislike for women’s indirectness. To them, a yes should be yes and a no should be no. An example is Adewale, a banker who has been in his relationship for three years.
“My babe would ask me what we would eat but go ahead to cook what she likes anyway. Why ask me then? Or she would suggest we go out and I’d be all dressed but at the last minute, she’d change her mind and say we should stay home. Like, just make up your mind already and stop with the indirectness.”
In the conversations with men, the mention of women’s inability to apologize came up a lot and one that particularly stood out was that of Olanrewaju who shared the story of his parents.
“My mum and Dad can be entertaining to watch,” he begins. “Whenever my dad is at fault, he has to apologize, else, mum would rain hell on the household. But when tables are turned, that’s when she remembers what he did several years ago and uses it as cover up instead of apologizing. I’ve also noticed that she can’t accept what she dishes out to Dad. I don’t know if that’s a woman thing but it needs to stop.”
Article written by Sola Tales.