Happy New-Year!! I have been feeling like a fraud saying this… asking myself, am I really happy? I have been an “on and off Grinch” from Christmas till now. Happy today, sad and unsociable the next minute but even I do that with style (I try not to wear my emotions on my sleeves… *masks*).
Much as I like to keep it in, I’m going the personal route today, first time I’d be talking about my feelings on this publicly. In October, the worst thing that could have happened to me happened. I lost my dad, it was a rude shock to me, my family and everyone who knew him. Heck, it is still a rude shock to me, haven’t sunk in totally yet. The holidays just make it even more glaring because these are my dad’s things, he is the holiday! New-year is his thing, he gets so happy and carried away with the celebrations and joy it brings to people’s lives.
Yesterday, I saw it was the 31st and well, people were thanking God and all that. I was silently cursing when people told me “millions didn’t see today but you did”. I mean, doesn’t it occur to you that my father is in that statistic? (The Grinch in me takes over). Sometimes, the enemy brings its ugly head to ask me why I will be thankful and I almost give in (enjoy a good cry and melancholy fest) and then it dawns on me that it could have been worse than it already is.
I know that grateful people are positive people; I know that there are people who even lost more than I did. I know that God is good all the time and there is no element of bad in Him, I also know that if God allowed it to happen, it means it is OK.
When life gives you lemons, you look for what can be processed out of it. My dad, very peaceful and the kindest man I have met in my life went to heaven in the most peaceful way anyone would want to leave. So here’s my lemonade: I am grateful my father impacted lives (testimonies from so many people, make me so proud), grateful he didn’t suffer, grateful we were able to bury him well, grateful we’re here and dealing with not having him around one day at a time.
Many people will be bustling around the kitchen preparing their New Year meals and all that right now. That used to me, but that won’t be me today, I am taking things quietly.
Perhaps you are like me or even worse, you have lost someone or something you cared about deeply. BE STILL and BREATHE, be positive, be happy. I intend to live my best life to make my daddy smile on me from heaven and make my family as happy as I can.
I will do my best not to be a Grinch this day and be thankful I am in 2014, eat all my neighbour’s food and just relax.
Thank you for taking time out to read our blog posts, thanks for your support since we started in August. Cheers to many more years of doing great in all our endeavours. I sincerely wish you an incredible 2014. Be happy!
Love,
Omawumi.