Heartbreaks are so universal, there is even an emoji for it. It is comparable to receiving multiple blows of betrayal, frustration, anger, disappointment and sometimes guilt (self – blame), all at the same time!
Statistic shows that every 2 in 4 girls you meet has experienced heartbreak within a certain period of their lives. While every (heartbreak) situation is different, one thing that has stayed true across board is that heartbreak always teaches you something about yourself, your relationships with others and about Life.
Entertainer, Entrepreneur and make-up artist, Eva Alordiah took to her YouTube channel to address breakup issues and how to get out of it. She titled the session “How to bounce back fast after a break up”.
“Break ups are hard and can be very painful” The award winning artist began. “You can get over a painful heartbreak situation with time; you just need to be patient with your personal process of dealing with the pain.”
Here are a few tips she suggested in her video as necessary steps to take to get back on track after a heart break:
1. Cry.
Crying is a good thing. You might ask why because you feel pain but the energy giver (Who has been through a couple of heartbreaks herself) explained that when we feel such intense pain, our bodies are going through a cleansing process.
Getting rid of all the negativity that comes with heartbreak is what crying helps to do and at the end of the day, we realize that we are better, lighter or relieved. Not necessarily happy, but relieved.
2. You are going to finally have time
Yes, a lot of people tell you this. “When you breakup, you finally have time for yourself”
Right now, I know you might feel like you don’t want time for yourself, you want time with him or her, but the truth is that if you were supposed to be with him or her right now, you would be. However, you are not and now you have time for your business, time to write that book, get that job, and make that pitch. You also have time to really reflect on your life.
You have time to reflect on why this happened and learn the lessons you need to because if you don’t, it will happen again. If you’re meeting the same people over and over again or the same things keep happening over and over again, it means you haven’t learnt the lessons yet. People come into your life to teach you about yourself, and you really need to look inwards at the relationship and find what it is trying to say to you or teach you.
3. You have the time to change
I know what you are thinking. It wasn’t your fault right? He/she was the one who hurt you.
This can be true. What is also true is that there are things that you did in the relationship that wasn’t right and you really need to take a step back and think about it. Reflect on yourself and figure it out or if you are still in contact and speaking terms with the other person, then you can ask them what you did wrong or the negative characters that you exhibited in the relationship.
This will give you an avenue to change for the better.
4. You now have a better understanding of what and who you want
I know this may sound too forward because you might not be thinking of getting into a new relationship.
However, the break up gives you a better understanding of the things you like and don’t like in a person and relationship. Life is a school and all the experiences you face, good or bad, are here to teach you. Now you know there are things you can accept and the signs that show when things are going bad.
Eva Alordiah explains that in understanding what you like, don’t like and what you accept, you need to be open to loving again. She says “you are full of love, and in your natural state, you are love. Don’t shut your heart up because at the end of the day, you will find good love that will come to you.”
5. You have to Forgive
“Forgiveness is not something you do for the other person, it is what you do for yourself and your peace” Eva says.
Forgiveness will take that burden away and would lift off the pain. Holding a grudge is understandable and easy but if you can forgive (It could be really hard, but give yourself time and be intentional), it will be the beginning of your healing process.
Your energy is important, and you have to protect it. There’s no need to revenge or get back at the person who hurt you because that will mean you’re giving your power away. At the point of forgiveness, you’re not trying to get back at them, you’re working to get back to you.
6. Declutter your space
Ideally, it is imperative to declutter your space every 3 months to give room for other things, people and energy.
Go into your room: declutter everything that is old, from the past etc. Things that you don’t use, give them away and re-organize. Old unnecessary stuff pile up energy that could affect your mind and invade your space.
As you declutter and re organize, you‘re taking negative energy from your mind and throwing it away because it is an energetic process and you will feel better afterwards.
7. Take care of yourself
So this is the last part where you do everything and anything good that makes you feel good.
Eat good food and fruits that will help you glow and feel better, Buy new stuff and get yourself some new clothes maybe (Since you decluttered your space, you probably need new stuff), if you can afford it.
Nothing overboard or harmful, just things that will make you feel good inside and out. You can start exercising as well or take up a dance class, yoga, meditation etc. Exercises are known to help improve your mood and keep you motivated towards a goal.
This will contribute to your excitement and glow. Eva says it’s a great way to create positive energy.
Remember that this process is all about you, your energy and your life. Focus! And remember that healing takes time and in no time, you will be fine and ready to love again.