For many women, divorce comes with silence, shame, and the pressure to “move on” quietly. But for Nigerian-British advocate and author Chinwe Enyinna, pain became purpose. In her debut book, My Garden of Thorny Roses, she opens up about love, marriage, emotional abuse, heartbreak, and rediscovering herself after divorce.
Beyond sharing personal experiences, Chinwe hopes to spark deeper conversations around self-awareness, emotional preparedness, toxic relationships, and the realities many women face behind closed doors. Ahead of her Lagos book launch, she speaks with Glazia about vulnerability, healing, advocacy, and why telling her story became necessary.
Behind the Veil: Deciphering the Thorns and the Roses
G: The title, My Garden of Thorny Roses, is deeply symbolic. What do the “thorny roses” represent in your personal journey?
CE: Roses are associated with beauty, love, hope and femininity, while thorns represent pain, disappointment, betrayal and the difficult realities many women endure behind closed doors. In my personal journey, the roses were the dreams I had about marriage, family, companionship and building a future with someone I loved. The thorns were the emotional abuse, loneliness, societal expectations, stigma and the painful experiences that came with divorce and starting all over. Just as a rose cannot exist without its thorns, growth often comes through discomfort. The title reminds readers that even in the most painful situations, beauty, purpose and rebuilding are still possible.
G: You describe the book as more than a story of heartbreak. At what point did you realise your experience could become a guide for other women?
CE: This happened when other women quietly shared similar stories with me during conversations. Many of them felt trapped in silence, ashamed to speak about their struggles because society often expects women to endure. I noticed many women entered marriages emotionally unprepared, lacking self-awareness, and driven more by pressure than compatibility. I began to see my experience as an opportunity to educate, encourage, and empower others. Writing this book became a responsibility. I wanted women to know they are not alone, support is available, and healing and rebuilding their lives is possible.
G: In many African societies, divorce is still treated as something women should hide. Did you struggle with the decision to tell your story publicly?
CE: Absolutely, it was not an easy decision. Divorce carries stigma, especially for women in a country like Nigeria. There is often an assumption that a divorced woman has failed, regardless of the circumstances she endured. I knew that speaking publicly would expose me to judgment, criticism, and misunderstanding. There were moments when I questioned whether I should remain silent and move on privately. However, I also know that silence protects harmful narratives. Too many women suffer in silence because they are afraid of being judged by society, the community, the church, or even friends. I reached a point where I decided I would not allow shame to dictate my story. By sharing my personal experience, I hope to create a safe space for honest conversations about marriage, abuse, speaking up, healing, and starting over again. Telling my story was scary but liberating.
Unmasking the Truth: What to Ask Before Saying ‘I Do’
G: The book speaks strongly about self-awareness before marriage. Looking back now, what are some conversations people should have with themselves before saying “I do”?
CE: Before getting married, I think it is important for people to have honest conversations with themselves about identity, values, expectations, emotional intelligence, and purpose. One of the biggest mistakes many people make is entering marriage without truly understanding who they are. Marriage magnifies unresolved issues. People should ask themselves difficult questions, such as: Why do I want to get married? Am I seeking companionship, validation, escape, or societal approval? Do I really know this person beyond appearances? How do we handle conflict, finances, family expectations, communication, and emotional needs? Marriage should not be entered out of pressure. Love alone is not enough to sustain a healthy relationship. It requires emotional preparedness, honesty, patience, compatibility, and shared values. Self-awareness is one of the greatest gifts people can give themselves before making lifelong commitments.
From Pain to Purpose: Turning Lived Experience into Advocacy
G: You’re passionate about gender equality and gender-based violence. How have your personal experiences shaped your advocacy work today?
CE: My experiences gave me a deeper understanding of how societal beliefs often silence women and normalise harmful behaviour. Growing up, I witnessed how women were expected to endure pain silently to preserve marriages or family reputations. My advocacy work is rooted in empathy and lived experience. I understand the confusion, fear, shame, and isolation many women feel when facing unhealthy relationships. This understanding is my motivation for creating awareness, supporting, and advocating for survivors. I want more women to know that speaking up about harmful relationships is not a weakness. Speaking up, prioritizing safety, and choosing yourself are courageous decisions.
G: There’s a line between vulnerability and oversharing. How did you decide what parts of your story to include in the book and what to keep private?
CE: That balance was important to me while writing this book.I wanted to be honest and authentic without exposing every detail of my private life or the lives of others involved. My goal was not a revenge. My goal was creating awareness and education. Vulnerability is powerful when it comes from a place of intention and wisdom. Oversharing, can reopen wounds without offering value. I wanted the book to be honest while still preserving dignity and respect for everyone involved.
Reclaiming the Narrative: Rebuilding Identity After the Storm
G: Many women lose their voice after painful relationships. What did “finding your voice again” look like for you personally?
CE: Finding my voice again meant rebuilding my confidence and rediscovering my identity. After painful experiences, many women tend to start doubting themselves. They become afraid of speaking openly, setting boundaries or pursuing their dreams because they fear judgement or rejection. For me, finding my voice again was a gradual process . It involved healing emotionally , embracing my truth, reconnecting with my purpose and most importantly realising that my experiences do not define my worth.
G: You’ll be officially launching the book in Lagos soon. What can readers expect from the event, and why was it important for you to celebrate this moment publicly?
CE: The launch in Lagos is more than a book event. It is a conversation of healing, resilience, courage, and new beginnings. Guests can expect meaningful conversations about relationships, emotional well-being, societal expectations, women’s empowerment, and transformation. There will be opportunities for networking, storytelling, and connection. It was important for me to celebrate this publicly because too many women are taught to hide their pain and quietly disappear after difficult experiences. I want this launch to be a declaration that surviving difficult seasons in life is not something to hide but something to honour. I hope the event sparks conversations in homes, churches, and communities about marriage, self-worth, and the importance of making informed decisions in lifelong commitments. I want people to leave the event feeling inspired and empowered.
Secure Your Spot at the Soirée
Attendance is strictly by invitation, but you can request to join Chinwe Enyinna and an elite circle of leaders for an afternoon of insightful conversations, guest readings, and networking.
Spaces are limited to ensure an intimate experience.
Request your exclusive invitation today: bit.ly/thornyrosesrequest
If you would like to refer or invite a guest, please include their full details in the notes section of the form or email events@glgcommunication.com